Troika! x Barkeep on Borderlands sesh 1

27 Jan, 2026

Currently I'm playing with my group a short campaign of Barkeep on Borderlands with Troika! My three-eager-to-play are Witch (ancient undead parchment witch), Assassin (journeyman of guild of sharp corners) and Necromancer (just that). Check pregame: https://vdonnutvalley.bearblog.dev/troika-x-barkeep-on-borderlands-pregame/

Starting Session One

Just before the action I reminded them of stuffs and set time and place - somewhere in Iron Fens district, hour set at 10:00, first day of the Raves - Kobold Ambush.

Since all players chose backgrounds from Troika they all had very little money, 2d6 shillings each which would probably end up enough for a day of partying at best. So their goal from the get go became to earn money. Fortunately there is a page of Barkeep that suggests how to do it. Take a loan, take a loan "for a favor" (totally not a quest), hunt for wizard school mascots, do some honest work, visit catacombs beneath the city.

To Sell the Cheese - day one, Iron Fens, 10:00

First thing they did was to pick a random dwarf selling "authentic" kobold cheese and asked him if he'll pay them for promoting his stand. They talked him into it and I decided to improvise three opportunities per hour. I made a really simple d6 table with creatures taken from anything that jumped me from pages before me:

1. kobold
2. bugbear
3. dwarf
4. orc
5. ogre
6. goblin

And the number rolled meant type of creature and amount of them. Then I added the dry reaction roll to check whether it will be hard or easy to make them try buy the cheese.

First I rolled a lone kobold and easy encounter. So they found him, a lone traveller from a town far away trying to connect with his kobold ancestry by coming for the first day of Raves, one dedicated to kobolds. As a person from far away he quickly jumped on an opportunity and bought two pieces of cheese not knowing if they are authentic or how should they taste. Just a tourist.

Second rolled was a group of four orcs walking nearby, and activity kinda difficult. So I decided these are three typical tourist orcs and one that looks like a local. When Pretty Madonna approached them (ancient undead mummy with paper mimicking as a skin) and tried to bullshit them she had a kobold grandmother who used to make cheese like this the outsiders might've been impressed but the local orc smelled a lie from far away and took her family somewhere else.

Third opportunity was a group of six goblins. And secret difficulty was very hard. I described them as a group of touristy nerds, with big backpacks, colourful jackets, glasses and paper sheets and pencils, writing something. I decided these are culinary critics on their way to gather materials for a culinary zine in a land beyond the mountains. So the characters start their bullshit about authenticity of the cheese and stuff and actually marketed it with information the vendor told them before - that he has a certificate of Culinary Guild of Dwarves from Grey Mountains (which are seven days away and it cannot even be verified whether this guild exists or if the certificate is authentic during the Raves). And then the main goblin - Mateusz¹ - smiled evilly and proclaimed that they are in fact culinary critics and would like very much not only to bash a street vendor in their zine but also a whole Culinary Guild! The Witch almost shat her pants knowing how they screwed the vendor but Assassin's luck saved them and he pointed them at the other stall.

After an hour of their "work" Zogrik the Dwarf Seller of "Authentic" Kobold Cheese got one customer that bought two pieces of cheese. When characters came for the payment he only laughed them off and bursted with anger. At least Assassin befriended goblin critics in case they found Antidote (the MacGuffin) and needed someone to taste if it is real.

It went Down? - day one, Iron Fens, 11:00

Standing before a perspective of honest work, vague quests or hunting in the woods the group decided to fucking go to the fucking catacombs that are not in any way described in the adventure. The group that has been constantly refusing to play dungeon-focused games. Decided to go loot a dungeon. In a specifically not dungeon-focused adventure in which "exploring catacombs" is a fucking off-hand reference mentioned ONCE! ONCE!

FUCK!

Not the first time improvising a dungeon but oh buoy it tends to go badly. But who am I to ruin these goofballs fun and railroad them out of the catacombs? I'm going to make them a ride of their life!

So they went to Out Lady of the Sacred Speakeasy, large cathedral-turned-nightclub, which famously has entrances to old catacombs below the city. They were let in by a goatperson bouncer, saw the nightclub during the day, got introduced to a cultist Bartek - large ogre in a crimson robe. He lead them underground, informed them that the cult will let them into catacombs if they join the Church. Then performed on them the Baptism of Chaos, which means if they die they'll be dissolved and become part of the Evil... I mean Grand Chaos. And apostasy is only 1 gold per person! Of course after getting out of catacombs they'll need to cover 10% of the treasures they take out as a part of donation to Church of Chaos. Minimum 10%. Ogre Bartek was quite suggestive what will happen if cultists find out the group screwed them over.

Pretty Madonna as an undead already had to roll for her Luck, in case of failure something scary would probably happen to her. But as it is her well prepared parchment skin protected her. Oof

And so a Witch, an Assassin and a Necromancer delved into a dungeon. In first room they chose a drafty tunnel, I think Witch hoped of finding legendary secret access to Royal Academy so they could find a way back to Crystal Spheres.

First room they found was a poorly secured room with some necromancer's laboratory, rusted and dusted. After some search Our Necromancer found a jar of Aqua Vitae, water of life - ironic name for a necromantic reagent that is a green mud. Worth 4 gold crowns. And behind large vats they found two creatures. Living Dead, people not on either of sides, something in between, very strange. Probably a failed necromantic experiment. These two were docile and mindless (I regret this decision, if only I interpret their mien roll as them not knowing they are dead). The team didn't know what to do with them so they left them. They won't die of hunger or thirst and probably been there for a long time.

The group went to the next room (choosing drafty corridor again) and found a large boulder and the remains of a camp of someone really tall. After some investigation they realised the boulder is probably some kind of golem (our undead Witch failed her Second Sight rolls in both rooms, clearly powerful necromancy messing with her magic detection, so she couldn't help much). Necromancer pondered using Aqua Vitae on the golem but in the end they need money for drinking at the Raves and wouldn't even know if it would work (it actually would, hihi).

They went to the corridor on the other side, dreaming about treasures.

day one, Iron Fens, 11:40

#BarkeepOnBorderlands #OSR-NSR #SessionReport #Troika!